It's Fucking Late

Well, good morning. It truly is morning, it's 1:34am in The Meadows. I worked tonight at Carrabba's, just like last night, just like the night before. It's extra slow there and I miss the Golden Nugget money oh, so badly.

I'm sitting in a corner of my apartment, in only the dim light of the laptop, exploring music on imeem.com, and I found 3 songs by the Mifits that are so beastly, I can't even sleep now. I have all 3 playing for you , one at a time of course, just listen. I've never listened to them but these three songs make me want to just get in my car and drive 100mph around the valley, and then over a mountain and the hell out of here. I'll take an extra large coffee with me and push the pedal right to the floor. Of course, my car is a Chevy Cavalier and the rubber is separating from the steel belts on both front tires, so I'd probably crash before I got very far. But that doesn't stop me from wanting to do it. I'd raise a middle finger out the window with my left hand as I chug coffee with my right hand, steer with my knees, and create the granddaddy of all dust clouds as I race far, far away from this demon and whore infested, cesspool of a town.

I feel like punching a hole in the wall, jumping out the window, robbing a liqour store, stealing a car, crashing the stolen car, kicking a cop in the balls, running from said cop, fighting 3 drunks in a bar, sucker punching somebody's mom, spitting on someone, dragging my bloody self back home, and sleeping for a month. And I don't even use drugs. I can't sleep and I don't want to. It's the angst, the music, the frustration.

Not only am I listening to pure beastliness, I'm also playing $3.40 turbo, 10-man SNGs on Stars. I deposited $20 on Sunday and I've turned that into $83 playing at this level. I'm crushing the players down here at the bottom of the barrel, winning more than my share. Maybe I'll turn this meager amount into something. After all, I do have 24 buy-ins at this level. After I top $100 I'll up the stakes. Until I get a job like the one at the Golden Nugget, I can't afford to do much more.

I need a damn coffee. I don't have coffee here, or a coffee maker. I barely have a coffee cup. I could eat the grounds if I had coffee, but I don't. It's dark, it's late and there's no one to talk to, not that there's anyone who'd want to talk to me anyway. I think I'll just sit here and keep ripping the heads off the little fish at the micro stakes and shitting down their wrinkly little necks. Eventually I'll sleep, and then I'll wake up tomorrow and continue the onslaught.

Wow, these songs rip it up. I have to pee.

It's driving me insane
Although you try to fight
Dragged from the silence where you hide
'til you... Scream